Sex News Roundup - Week of June 29, 2009

It's time to launch a new feature on The Mind Reels.

Every week*, I'll give you a roundup of notable--or notably wacky--news about all things sex-related. (I thought of starting a Worst Parent of the Week feature, but realized I'd get too depressed.) Now, normally I'd start a feature such as this on a Saturday, so I could use the "for the week ending July 4, 2009" designation, but today's news offered me two nuggets I couldn't pass up.

This Recession is So Bad that not Even Sex Sells.
That's the depressing headline on an article in this morning's San Jose Mercury News Business section, which reported on the annual Cybernet Expo conference in San Francisco. I'm not sure what was more interesting to me: the fact that times are tough in the "pay-per-view" sex industry, or that this conference didn't sound that much different from your average high-tech event, down to the breakout sessions on social media and the late-afternoon cocktails.

Man Demands Sex in Exchange for Lost Dog.
A convicted sex offender in the Los Angeles area demanded that a teenager give him cash or sex in exchange for the return of her lost dog Pineapple, a cocker-spaniel-toy poodle mix. And yet he's only been charged with "attempted extortion." Whaaaaa????

Got a good sex news tidbit for me? Send it on. Oh, and many thanks to Great White Snark, for giving me the idea for this feature.

* Note: "Every week" should be roughly translated as "hopefully every month" or "whenever I feel like it."

Podcast available: "Sex With Emily" show appearance on June 14

You can now download the podcast from my June 14 appearance on the "Sex With Emily" radio show on Alice 97.3 FM, talking about What Men Really Want in Bed. In fact, life is full of choices, because you've got a few options:

1. Visit Emily's website, www.sexwithemily.com.
Part 1
Part 2
A really nice next-day recap

2. Visit Emily's podcast page on the Radio Alice @97.3 website (www.radioalice.com). Just scroll down to the 06.14.2009 segments (Episode 92).

3. iTunes: Find the Sex with Emily podcast, and download Episode 92. I think my interview is broken into 2 segments.

I had a great time on the show. Emily's fun and cute and sweet, and best of all, she had read the book so carefully that she was almost more familiar with it than I am! We got some fun calls from listeners (thanks, Carrie!). I've never had an hour go by so fast. So check out "Sex With Emily," every Sunday night on 97.3 FM in San Francisco. I guarantee you won't be bored!

I'll be on the radio tonight!

I'm going to be a guest on the "Sex with Emily" show on FM 97.3 (Alice@97.3), along with Greg Behrendt, co-author of He's Just Not That Into You. The show runs from 9pm to midnight, but I'll be on at about 10:10-11:20pm.

Got a question you want me or Greg or Emily to answer? Send email to Emily at feedback@sexwithemily.com. Or you can call the show live at 800-400-FM97 (-3697).

For those of you who don't live in the San Francisco Bay Area, Emily posts podcasts after the show, so you won't miss out!

This Week at Preschool

I live for the almost-daily email reports that we get from my son's preschool teacher. Seriously, it's almost pathetic how excited I get when I see them in my Inbox, and how disappointed I am when she misses a day.

These updates are interesting only to me and a close circle of my relatives (as in, my husband, my mom and my mother-in-law), but I'm still going to post them here.

Tuesday 6/9/09
Our weather man Cameron had fun working with the connector blocks this morning. He made a sun with lots of hot rays coming out from it. He told me that today the sun is hiding in the clouds but that soon it will get too bright and it won't be able to hide there anymore. Then, after a long day of shining on people it will go down and the sky will get dark.

Wednesday 6/10/09
Cameron got out all the Legos and built a long train this morning. There was a lot of detail on his train. The cars were in a pattern: yellow, blue, yellow, blue. He had a seat for the conductor and he even included a smoke stack (because it was a steam engine).

Thursday 6/11/09
In the afternoon we did our Apple sensory investigation. It was so much fun and the children loved trying all the different types of apples….Cameron said his favorite part of the experiment was getting to taste all of the different apples. He told me that he thinks we should eat lots of different kinds of apples everyday for snack.

Friday 6/12/09
Cameron was really interested in puzzles this morning, he spent a lot of time at the table working on them all. He really liked the occupation puzzles and the emergency people puzzles. He would take one all apart and then put all the pieces back before moving on to the next one.

As the Noggin commercial puts it, wouldn't it be great if life were more like preschool?

Anatomy Lesson

Today's conversation between my son and his grandmother:

Cami: "Grandma, do you have a penis?"
Grandma: "No. I don't have a penis. I have something else. Do you know what it's called?"
Cami: "Yeah... umn..." (Thinks about it, then says) "You have a JayJay."
Grandma: "Yes, I have a JayJay."
Cami: "Yeah! And it's made in China."

I can't even comment on this one. I...just...can't.

AFA Event: Martinis and Manicures in SF

Attention all San Francisco Bay Area readers: The American Fertility Association is holding its popular free Martinis and Manicures event on Monday, June 9, at Nova Nail Spa in San Francisco. This your chance to get your questions answered about the reality of your biological clock, the effect of STDs on your fertility, environmental toxins and more fertility-related topics--all in a fun and friendly atmosphere. Here's the 411 from Vivian Rodriguez of the AFA:

What: Manicures & Martinis*, a 90-minute conversation and Q & A with Marcelle Cedars, M.D., UCSF Center for Reproductive Health

Where: Nova Nail Spa, 811 Mission Street, San Francisco, California 94107

When:Tuesday, June 9th, 6:00 PM – 7:30 PM

Why: Because wise choices now improve your chances of having a child later.

Who: Women in their 20s and 30s

Cost: Complimentary! A credit card is required to hold your reservation. A fee of $50 will be charged if you no-show.

* Also available: The “Fertilitini”, an organic, alcohol free cocktail!

To make a reservation please contact Vivian Rodriguez at 646-861-3226 or vivian@theafa.org. For more information, please visit www.theafa.org.

And here's some information about the Manicures and Martinis event in Denver.

I'd like to go to the event, although evening events in San Francisco are hard for me these days what with my job and such. But if I go, I'll post a report. And if you go, send me yours!

Reading at Bookshop West Portal

As part of the Word of Mouth Bay Area (WOM-BA) Mini-Tour last Thursday, my co-author and childhood pal Dana Fredsti and I read from Secret Seductions at Bookshop West Portal in San Francisco. Here are some pictures:

Co-authors Dana and Cynthia in action...

Dana and Cynthia post-reading, and looking forward to a glass of wine.

The theme for the evening was "Guilt, Pleasure, and Guilty Pleasures." The other readers were the very talented Jill Wolfson and Catherine Brady. Guess who handled the "Guilty Pleasures" (and comic relief) segment of the night's proceedings? Yeah. Yours truly. The highlight of the evening was when the 8-year-old boy wandered in while I was reading about having sex in a car. Oh, did I feel guilt then.

Afterwards, we headed back to Dana's pad and quaffed a few nice glasses of a Brutacao Zin while her sweet cats scurried around us. Just the reward for our travails.

Win a copy of Secret Seductions...

...although not on this blog (yet). My friend (and Jennifer Connelly lookalike) Rachel Sarah wrote an incredibly nice post about me on her blog, Single Mom Seeking. Thanks, Rachel!

Rachel's also giving away copies of my new book, Secret Seductions, along with two others, one of which I'd had when I was dating: Why He Didn't Call You Back: 1,000 Guys Reveal What They Really Thought About You After Your Date by Rachel Greenwald.

By the way, Rachel says in her blog that she wants to know my "secret." Well, I want to know hers! My admiration for single parents knows no bounds. I don't think you're going to be "seeking" for very long (Lucky Guy sounds like an absolute gem).

And I'm in Cosmo...again.

Cosmo and I are definitely becoming BFFs. I was interviewed for another cover feature that appears on page 110 of the May 2009 issue. It's called "What Guys Know About Sex That You Don't," and I'm quoted in Lesson 1: "You're Always Doable."

Check it out and let me know what you think.

I have only one request for my new BFF: Could you please archive your articles online, so that I can link to them?

Secret Seductions is out!

(Note to self: Must publish more than once a month. Bad blogger. Bad, bad blogger.)

So today is publication day for Secret Seductions: 62 Naughty Nights, Lusty Liaisons and Sexy Surprises. You can buy it at all the usual places: Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, etc. I celebrated by...going to work. Yes, the life of a sex writer is just that glamorous. (Take note, you tyro writers who think that publishing a book will completely change your life.)

At any rate, I was thrilled to see that Quiver Books sent out an email promoting the book. Let's see if I can cut-and-paste it:

Subject: Shhh! Secret Bedroom Trysts for Spring

Are you in the mood for something sweet? Adventurous? How about naughty? Secret Seductions contains 62 sealed seductions bound in glassine envelopes that let you peek at the enclosed sexy scenarios. Each sealed seduction includes a photograph that illustrates the seduction while the facing sealed page describes the fantasy to be acted out with a partner, gives sexual technique information, and lets you know what clothing or props are required to set the scene. Each chapter is based on your sexual mood: naughty, nice, raunchy, racy, tender, torrid, sensual, sweet, and much more! It even shares the best season and time of day to act out the fantasy. Let Secret Seductions capture your lust-incited passion. Trash the routine, and be risqué.

Click twice below for some secrets from the book!

#13 #53 #27

Mood: Naughty Mood: Languorous Mood: Relaxing

Secret Seductions is available at bookstores nationwide and online at Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com, and QuiverBooks.com

I hope you'll check it out--and that you enjoy it as much as Roxanne and I enjoyed writing it. If you like it, please think about posting a nice review on Amazon.com or BarnesAndNoble.com (or both)!

Classroom Doctor Visit

My son's preschool lesson plan for the week is "Healthy Bodies." Today they talked about their health with their "classroom doctors." Here's my son's health check-up sheet:

In case you're wondering, my son is 3 1/2, not 10 or 100, although sometimes he does seem wise beyond his years. He does weigh a lot (hello, 95th percentile), especially when I have to carry him upstairs to bed. And he does in fact have all 10 fingers and 10 toes. OK, maybe accuracy isn't his strong suit at the moment, he is 3/12, for god's sake.

What's the best story your preschooler's made up?

My new book, Secret Seductions, is out! (Almost.)

My new book, Secret Seductions: 62 Naughty Nights, Lusty Liaisons and Sexy Surprises, is out! Well, it's almost out. You can pre-order it from Amazon. It'll be officially out on April 1.

Here's the description, from Amazon:
"This book contains sealed seductions bound in glassine envelopes that let readers peek at the enclosed sexy scenarios. Each sealed seduction includes a photograph that illustrates the seduction while the facing sealed page will describe the fantasy to be acted out with a partner, give sexual technique information, and let readers know what clothing or props are required to set the scene. Each chapter will be based on the mood of the sex the reader is looking for—naughty, nice, raunchy, racy, tender, torrid, sensual or sweet—with sealed seduction being marked with the mood on the outside."

It was fun to write, and I hope you'll find it fun to read. (I'm really impressed at the design from my publisher, Quiver Books. It's beautiful and fancy! Wow!)

I'm in Cosmo again

Well, I finished What Women Really Want in Bed. And I'm gradually emerging from seclusion. First up, a gratuitous bit of self-promotion to let you know that I was interviewed for an article that appears in the March 2009 issue of Cosmopolitan. The article is called "His Biggest Sex Secrets." Take a look while you're standing in line at the grocery store. Let me know what you think.

Guilt.

This is not going to be a funny post. I'm just warning you.

My book deadline is bearing down on me, while at the same time, my day job is beyond crazy.

I'm kind of screwed. At night, I try to write for at least an hour a night, but then I feel guilty because I'm not doing "work" work. But when I do work, I feel guilty for not writing.

On top of that, I feel like I'm neglecting my husband and son because I'm so tightly wound up by stress. (Thanks to the joys of email and the Blackberry, I was almost in tears by 8:30a.m. this morning.) I've started having sharp stomach pains occasionally after I eat.

Please don't tell me to exercise, meditate or do yoga. I miss doing all those things. But there's not a spare moment in the day. That I could give up without feeling guilty, that is.

How do other writers handle it, this juggling act, this guilt?

A conversation I never thought I'd have (or share).

"Cami, do you want to come here and go potty before your nap?"
"No thank you!"
"I'm going potty, and I'm going poo-poo, too!"
"Good job, mommy!"

Porn industry asks feds for money.

It was inevitable.

In light of the economic meltdown, the porn industry (well, as represented by Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis) is seeking a federal bailout.

Flynt said in a statement: "People are too depressed to be sexually active. This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex."

You know, he has a point. This man might be a real patriot.

Really, though, if the porn industry can get government help, can erotica writers and sex book authors be far behind? The value of my 401K has halved, my husband has been out of work for months, and we have a college education to pay for. Paul Greenberg made a compelling argument in the New York Times recently for writers getting a bailout.

Look at it this way. If the porn industry needs a bailout, and writers need a bailout, then sex writers really need a bailout. I'm just saying.

Please share your stories of writer's block.

With the deadline for What Women Really Want in Bed about two months away, I've officially entered panic mode. I did get a good start last Saturday during a cafe writing date with my co-author, Dana Fredsti, but I spent the first half hour waiting for my laptop to boot up.

This afternoon, my son went to spend the night at my (sainted) mother-in-law's house, leaving me about three hours during which I could have gotten a lot done. Instead, I tidied up the kitchen, did some laundry, re-arranged my son's closet, downloaded my own story (and some others) from RavenousRomance.com, and synced (sp.?) my iPod. Sat down to write, and look! It's time to get ready for my dinner date with my husband!

The thing is, I always do this to myself. When I was writing What Men Really Want in Bed, I went and had a baby as a way to procrastinate. I had to grovel with my editor to get an extension on the book and hire babysitters to stay with my infant son while I stole off to a cafe for a few hours. I once bought a book on procrastination, but kept putting off reading it. (Folks, I'll be here all week!)

What's the most creative way you've found to procrastinate? And why do you do it? Help.

New story published on RavenousRomance.com.

My story "Just Friends" was published today on a new Web site, Ravenous Romance. As usual, there's a story behind the story--although it's not the one you might think (you naughty blog reader, you). I wrote "Just Friends" one night when I thought I had writer's block. I sat down, started typing, and voila, before you know it I had more than 5,000 words. Oh, if only I could always be so productive!

If you want to read about Ravenous Romance and what its founders are trying to accomplish, you can, here.

And if you're interested in writing "sensual romance," well, they're looking for good stories and good writing. I've known one of the founders, Holly Schmidt, for several years now (she was my editor for Red Hot Tantra), and my dealings with her have always been positive and professional. And compassionate, in fact: she gave me an extension on a book deadline when I was a new mother suffering from extreme sleep deprivation and post-partum depression. So yeah, I'm a fan.

Enjoy the story, and let me know what you think. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it.

Postcard from Chicago: March for Equality

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the passage of Proposition 8 here in California. While I pull my thoughts together (and try to carve out the time to write the post I want to write), here's an email I received this morning from a friend who marched in Chicago.

Subject: I marched this past Saturday...

Some of you have asked me what happened in Chicago, so here it is.

I went to the Chicago equal rights event Saturday. It was one of the most amazing things I've ever done. About 5,000 - 8,000 people jammed into Federal Plaza. The police had barricaded the plaza to a point where we only had half the space. It was shoulder to shoulder.

Across the street the religious right numbered about 20 and held the usual hateful signs we've seen for years at every gay pride event. Suddenly however, like divine providence, a huge gust of Chicago wind blew their signage into the street just as a huge city bus ran over the messaging, grinding their placards into the oily wet gutter.

When we started to march the police tried to cordon us to the SIDEWALK. A group of over 5,000 was told to walk only on the sidewalk. It was ridiculous and people started getting angry. Finally we broke through the police blockade and took over the street. As we walked by the Palmer House Hilton, the entire street filled with protesters, a woman in an SUV tried to pull out into the crowd from thef ront of the hotel. A cop jumped in front of her and hit her hood. She rolled down her window and he shouted at her to stop because she was going to hurt someone.

"I'm late for a wedding," she shouted at him. Everyone who heard her burst into laughter at the irony. I've known people who've been late to their weddings for over 20 years, I thought.

We marched to Michigan Ave and Grant Park - the site of the 1968 demonstrations - and it felt like history was being made again. We brought traffic to a standstill as we marched northbound. The police tried to use horses to push us back on the sidewalks but we turned and headed back into the streets, over the Daly Plaza then back to State Street past Marshall Field's/Macy's and up to ABC studios, where the crowd came to a halt in front of the cameras.

Tom chatted with a very elderly man who was from Poland. He told Tom it was amazing to see gay people be able to march like this. "In Russia, in Poland, in Germany, this never would have happened."

We marched north to the river and once again the police tried to get us to turn back into the loop where there was little traffic or people. But the crowd pushed in the opposite direction and we walked along Wacker Drive and then turned up Michigan Ave.

Up the avenue we march. Everything brought to a standstill. From the sidelines some people looked fearful or disgusted, but mostly we say people smiling and cheering us on. Cars were honking in support. At one point we passed a group of mothers and their daughters out for a day of shopping. They collectively started cheering and chanting along with us. It was amazing.

When I reached the John Hancock Center I turned back and looked down Michigan. As far as I could see, I saw flags and signs. It was incredible.

As I walked to the train I felt empowered. After years of having our lives controlled by other people, we for at least a few hours controlled several streets. It reminded me of the activism I hadn't seen since the AIDS crisis. People are angry and people are motivated and people are tired of passively taking this crap.

While sitting on a bench in the L tunnel, I overheard the comments of a family from out of town who were next to me. They were talking about the freaks on the streets. Laughing and making disparaging comments. It was a rotten thing to hear after feeling so upbeat. But at the same time, it reminded me there's a long way to go.

Check out Join the Impact. Over 1 million people have signed up to be part of the nationwide fight for equality.

Obama wins.

I never thought I'd see this day. I don't think my husband, 10 years younger, quite gets it. Thank God for YouTube.

I feel like I should say something profound, but words fail me. Truly, the mind reels.

On a less happy note, Proposition 8 looks like it's passing. I don't get it. As a friend said, how can California elect Obama and still vote for Prop 8? It's cognitive dissonance, writ large.