Interview with "Sex @ 11 with Rebecca"

Today seemed to be my own personal Media Day. First I did an interview with CNN about TreeRing.com, the website that my son's school used to create its yearbook. (I was a co-editor, something I volunteered to do in a moment of insanity.) We'll see if any of the footage makes the light of day. Still, it was fun, and if the comments afterwards from the TreeRing.com folks are true, I did an OK job. It was nice to feel that I'm slightly good at something (I haven't been feeling that way so much lately...but that's the subject for another post).

Then, tonight, I did an interview with Rebecca Rosenblat, a.k.a. Dr. Date, for her TV show "Sex @ 11 with Rebecca." We talked about What Women Really Want in Bed and What Men Really Want in Bed, the top 3 sex tips guys need to know--and a few tips for women, too.

It was a fun interview; Rebecca made me feel right at home. But I guess I was a little nervous, because when I started talking about What Women Really Want in Bed, I realized I was talking about the men we surveyed, not the women. Oops. But after that little glitch, things went smoothly...

...until my son burst in the room as I was talking about how men need to pay attention to the clitoris. Yeah, that was a little distracting. My husband, who was supposed to be watching our small human, claimed he had run upstairs before he could catch him, like some sort of pint-sized Olympic sprinter.

Moral of the story: If you're a sex author, look the office door when you're doing an interview.

And how can you listen in? The show only airs in Canada, but the producers are sending me a DVD of it. Which I'll post here.

Tune in to Better Sex Radio tomorrow!

Yeah, I'm back, after six months. To quote the movie "Airplane": "But that's not important right now."

What is important is that I'll be on Better Sex Radio tomorrow, Wednesday, January 19, at 11am talking with host Chrystal Bougon about What Women Really Want in Bed and fabulous foreplay. And isn't all foreplay fabulous? We think so.

We've had to reschedule this interview at least twice now due to technical difficulties, but we're hoping that third time will be a charm. I love this blog post she wrote about the "Fabulous Foreplay" chapter of What Women Really Want in Bed:

Foreplay for women is NOT optional. Remember, for women, it's often going to take our brain about 10 - 15 minutes to get in the moment. We just don't CLICK OVER like men seem to be able to. We are not quite as visually stimulated as men are. Just seeing a penis or his nipples does not instantly get us going like flashing a nipple or showing a little butt cleavage can do for a man.

(That's not to say, of course, that we gals don't like a quickie now and then.)

I've been listening to Chrystal's show in the gym--which explains the smile on my face while I'm on the elliptical! I've learned a lot of great stuff, like you should always right a thank-you note after you've taken part in a threesome. (This is great to me: I read Emily Post's etiquette handbook as a child. I was weird.)

Guys, tune in...who knows, you might just learn something!

Mind-Blowing Orgasms Every Day: Now available in German!

Imagine my surprise when I opened up a package from my publisher the other day and discovered a copy of the German translation of Mind-Blowing Orgasms Every Day: 365 Wild and Wicked Ways to Revitalize Your Sex Life.

Which, in German, is Höhepunkte: 365 Ideen für unschlagbar guten Sex. Of course it is.

I must say I adore the picture on the cover, but not as much as I adore the friend who asked if I had posed for it. (Answer: No, because a) even if I did wear heels that high, I would probably trip on them rather than get them caught in my thong; and b) I've never had a body like that, even at my thinnest.) But it's the thought that counts.

Watch the book trailer for Secret Seductions.

The book trailer for Secret Seductions is online! Take a look.



Many thanks to Ben Hess of Bay Area Pictures for the great work!

How I became a sex writer.

On Saturday, I read a pared-down version of my essay "Following Anais, or How I Became a Sex Writer," as part of LitCrawl, which is the climax of San Francisco's LitQuake literary festival. I read in an alley. Really. With the obligatory drunk crazy person and everything. Evan Carp from the San Francisco Examiner posted an article, here.

Here's the video. We only had 7 minutes, so I'm reading pretty fast.

Thanks to Evan Karp of the San Francisco Examiner for this video!

Funny, you don't even notice the dry mouth that afflicted me halfway through. I was in a state of abject terror all day about the reading, but once I got on the BART train headed to SF, my anxiety vanished, and I had a great time. Thanks, Amanda Coggin, for inviting me!

The original essay appeared in HerStory: What I Learned in My Bathtub...and More True Stories on Life, Love, and Other Inconveniences.

I'm in the October issue of Cosmo.

...And it's one issue of Cosmo you can share with your man, because it has Megan Fox on the cover, and from what I understand, guys think she's hot or something. In the article, she claims to be really insecure. Yeah, whatever.

But Megan's not important right now. (Really.) See that headline on the cover that says "Bad Girl Sex"? Yeah, that's the article I was interviewed for. It starts on page 126--"Get Naughty Tonight!" is the name of the actual article--and I'm quoted a couple of times, talking about why bondage and role playing are so exciting.

Oh, and you'll note that the article mentions my forthcoming book, What Women Really Want in Bed, which I wrote with my dear friend Dana Fredsti. I found out the other day that it's not coming out until April 2010. Which is a huge bummer, but not that far off. Gulp.

If I had one request for Cosmo, it's that they make their articles available online to subscribers. It's an idea whose time has come, don't you think?

I'm in Cosmo UK

Just got my copy of the August 2009 issue of Cosmo UK. I was interviewed for an article called "Cosmo's Big Orgasmic Quiz." You don't live in the UK? Check out your local Barnes & Noble or Borders. Some of them have pretty good international magazine sections.

Let me know how you...uh...score.

Podcast available: "Sex With Emily" show appearance on June 14

You can now download the podcast from my June 14 appearance on the "Sex With Emily" radio show on Alice 97.3 FM, talking about What Men Really Want in Bed. In fact, life is full of choices, because you've got a few options:

1. Visit Emily's website, www.sexwithemily.com.
Part 1
Part 2
A really nice next-day recap

2. Visit Emily's podcast page on the Radio Alice @97.3 website (www.radioalice.com). Just scroll down to the 06.14.2009 segments (Episode 92).

3. iTunes: Find the Sex with Emily podcast, and download Episode 92. I think my interview is broken into 2 segments.

I had a great time on the show. Emily's fun and cute and sweet, and best of all, she had read the book so carefully that she was almost more familiar with it than I am! We got some fun calls from listeners (thanks, Carrie!). I've never had an hour go by so fast. So check out "Sex With Emily," every Sunday night on 97.3 FM in San Francisco. I guarantee you won't be bored!

I'll be on the radio tonight!

I'm going to be a guest on the "Sex with Emily" show on FM 97.3 (Alice@97.3), along with Greg Behrendt, co-author of He's Just Not That Into You. The show runs from 9pm to midnight, but I'll be on at about 10:10-11:20pm.

Got a question you want me or Greg or Emily to answer? Send email to Emily at feedback@sexwithemily.com. Or you can call the show live at 800-400-FM97 (-3697).

For those of you who don't live in the San Francisco Bay Area, Emily posts podcasts after the show, so you won't miss out!

Reading at Bookshop West Portal

As part of the Word of Mouth Bay Area (WOM-BA) Mini-Tour last Thursday, my co-author and childhood pal Dana Fredsti and I read from Secret Seductions at Bookshop West Portal in San Francisco. Here are some pictures:

Co-authors Dana and Cynthia in action...

Dana and Cynthia post-reading, and looking forward to a glass of wine.

The theme for the evening was "Guilt, Pleasure, and Guilty Pleasures." The other readers were the very talented Jill Wolfson and Catherine Brady. Guess who handled the "Guilty Pleasures" (and comic relief) segment of the night's proceedings? Yeah. Yours truly. The highlight of the evening was when the 8-year-old boy wandered in while I was reading about having sex in a car. Oh, did I feel guilt then.

Afterwards, we headed back to Dana's pad and quaffed a few nice glasses of a Brutacao Zin while her sweet cats scurried around us. Just the reward for our travails.

My new book, Secret Seductions, is out! (Almost.)

My new book, Secret Seductions: 62 Naughty Nights, Lusty Liaisons and Sexy Surprises, is out! Well, it's almost out. You can pre-order it from Amazon. It'll be officially out on April 1.

Here's the description, from Amazon:
"This book contains sealed seductions bound in glassine envelopes that let readers peek at the enclosed sexy scenarios. Each sealed seduction includes a photograph that illustrates the seduction while the facing sealed page will describe the fantasy to be acted out with a partner, give sexual technique information, and let readers know what clothing or props are required to set the scene. Each chapter will be based on the mood of the sex the reader is looking for—naughty, nice, raunchy, racy, tender, torrid, sensual or sweet—with sealed seduction being marked with the mood on the outside."

It was fun to write, and I hope you'll find it fun to read. (I'm really impressed at the design from my publisher, Quiver Books. It's beautiful and fancy! Wow!)

I'm in Cosmo again

Well, I finished What Women Really Want in Bed. And I'm gradually emerging from seclusion. First up, a gratuitous bit of self-promotion to let you know that I was interviewed for an article that appears in the March 2009 issue of Cosmopolitan. The article is called "His Biggest Sex Secrets." Take a look while you're standing in line at the grocery store. Let me know what you think.

Guilt.

This is not going to be a funny post. I'm just warning you.

My book deadline is bearing down on me, while at the same time, my day job is beyond crazy.

I'm kind of screwed. At night, I try to write for at least an hour a night, but then I feel guilty because I'm not doing "work" work. But when I do work, I feel guilty for not writing.

On top of that, I feel like I'm neglecting my husband and son because I'm so tightly wound up by stress. (Thanks to the joys of email and the Blackberry, I was almost in tears by 8:30a.m. this morning.) I've started having sharp stomach pains occasionally after I eat.

Please don't tell me to exercise, meditate or do yoga. I miss doing all those things. But there's not a spare moment in the day. That I could give up without feeling guilty, that is.

How do other writers handle it, this juggling act, this guilt?

Porn industry asks feds for money.

It was inevitable.

In light of the economic meltdown, the porn industry (well, as represented by Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis) is seeking a federal bailout.

Flynt said in a statement: "People are too depressed to be sexually active. This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex."

You know, he has a point. This man might be a real patriot.

Really, though, if the porn industry can get government help, can erotica writers and sex book authors be far behind? The value of my 401K has halved, my husband has been out of work for months, and we have a college education to pay for. Paul Greenberg made a compelling argument in the New York Times recently for writers getting a bailout.

Look at it this way. If the porn industry needs a bailout, and writers need a bailout, then sex writers really need a bailout. I'm just saying.

Please share your stories of writer's block.

With the deadline for What Women Really Want in Bed about two months away, I've officially entered panic mode. I did get a good start last Saturday during a cafe writing date with my co-author, Dana Fredsti, but I spent the first half hour waiting for my laptop to boot up.

This afternoon, my son went to spend the night at my (sainted) mother-in-law's house, leaving me about three hours during which I could have gotten a lot done. Instead, I tidied up the kitchen, did some laundry, re-arranged my son's closet, downloaded my own story (and some others) from RavenousRomance.com, and synced (sp.?) my iPod. Sat down to write, and look! It's time to get ready for my dinner date with my husband!

The thing is, I always do this to myself. When I was writing What Men Really Want in Bed, I went and had a baby as a way to procrastinate. I had to grovel with my editor to get an extension on the book and hire babysitters to stay with my infant son while I stole off to a cafe for a few hours. I once bought a book on procrastination, but kept putting off reading it. (Folks, I'll be here all week!)

What's the most creative way you've found to procrastinate? And why do you do it? Help.

New story published on RavenousRomance.com.

My story "Just Friends" was published today on a new Web site, Ravenous Romance. As usual, there's a story behind the story--although it's not the one you might think (you naughty blog reader, you). I wrote "Just Friends" one night when I thought I had writer's block. I sat down, started typing, and voila, before you know it I had more than 5,000 words. Oh, if only I could always be so productive!

If you want to read about Ravenous Romance and what its founders are trying to accomplish, you can, here.

And if you're interested in writing "sensual romance," well, they're looking for good stories and good writing. I've known one of the founders, Holly Schmidt, for several years now (she was my editor for Red Hot Tantra), and my dealings with her have always been positive and professional. And compassionate, in fact: she gave me an extension on a book deadline when I was a new mother suffering from extreme sleep deprivation and post-partum depression. So yeah, I'm a fan.

Enjoy the story, and let me know what you think. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it.

A snapshot from my wasted youth.

If you want to get a glimpse into the experiences that have made me what I am today, head on over to this post on Zhadi's Den. Then come back here and make fun of me.

Zhadi's Den is the work of my childhood friend Dana Fredsti. Dana and I have been friends since junior high and, because I have the memory of a goldfish these days, I can't remember how we met (but she will). Dana and I are hard at work on What Women Really Want in Bed.

And we're both writing for Ravenous Romance (although my guess is that she's the one actually "writing," as lately, all I've been doing is thinking about writing).

By the way, in case you're too busy making fun of me to read the comments on Zhadi's Blog, know that it wasn't "booze" that we were drinking. Heck no. It was Scotch and sweet vermouth, also known as a "Rob Roy." I feel a little queasy just thinking about it.

Take a survey for my next book (but you only have 48 hours).

Yeah, I know I haven't posted in a month. I started a new job, and you know how new jobs go: My butt is getting kicked, soundly. But let's not talk about that right now.

Because I have something more exciting to share with you! In my copious spare time, my dear friend Dana Fredsti and I are conducting a survey for a new book, tentatively titled What Women Really Want in Bed. The survey deadline is drawing close--it's Monday, in fact--and we could use a few more women. So if you're a woman (you know who you are), and you want to sound off about sex (you know who you are):

Click here to take our survey!

Yeah, we know it's a long survey and it asks a lot of personal questions. You don't have to answer every single one, although Dana and I would love you forever (relatively) if you did. We promise that you'll spend less time taking this survey than you would listening to the average political convention speech--and we'd hazard a guess that this survey is a lot more fun and thought-provoking.

In case the title What Women Really Want in Bed sounds familiar, well, yes! It is the sequel to my last book, What Men Really Want in Bed, which I wrote with my husband, Nima Badiey.

So if you'd like to help us out, take the survey sometime during the next 48 hours. Dana and I thank you from the bottom of our sleep-deprived hearts.

BlogHer '08: Fivestar interviews me at the Sex & Relationships Birds of a Feather Meet-Up.

One of the sessions I enjoyed most at BlogHer '08 was the Sex & Relationships Birds of a Feather Meet-Up on Friday. (Details later, in a subsequent blog post. Yeah, I'm a tease. Sorry.)

Afterwards, video artist Fivestar interviewed me for a video, "The Quick and Dirty BlogHer '08 Sex Video," for her blog, iamFivestar. We talked about how I got started writing about sex (accidentally), how the Internet has changed sex (more choices for women), and a bunch of other stuff.

Fivestar's friendliness and warmth made it a really fun interview. I'd talk to her about sex any time!

Just back from BlogHer '08, and now have blogger's block.

So I just finished two days at BlogHer '08. It was wonderful and amazing and I feel like I should blog about it at length.

But I can't.

I have total blogger's block. I'm on complete blogging overload. I met so many great bloggers and heard so many great posts read at the BlogHer Community Keynote and sat in on so many great panels that I'm convinced right at this moment that anything I wrote would SUCK.

I even left the closing cocktail party at Macy's early, after hanging out with a very nice woman named Anna from Austin who blogs about cookies and gets like 4,000 hits a day while I get maybe 2, because I was so overwhelmed and yes, a little burnt out on talking about blogging. (Anna, I'm terribly embarrassed to admit that, because I have the memory of a goldfish, I've already forgotten the name of your blog but will link to it if/when you email me.)

And I wanted to see my husband and son.

So I will write a better post about BlogHer. Just not tonight.