Eden Fantasys is giving away a Freestyle

The other day, a friend and I were joking about how there should be a vibrator app for the iPhone. Then I began to wonder: If I bought an iPhone to check out a vibrator app, could I consider it a business expense? While I work up the courage to ask my accountant, here's a close second: the Freestyle from OhMiBod. And Eden Fantasys is giving them away.

The Freestyle is a traditional vibrator that you can connect to your iPod, MP3 player, stereo or computer. Then it vibrates to the music.

What will they think of next? The mind reels.

You know you're infertile when...

From the "Finding a Resolution for Infertility" on the Resolve online support community:

You know you're infertile when...

You use and understand more acronyms than the government space program.

You know that cycling has nothing to do with a bike.

You list your IF stats like a pro baseball player.

You hate at least one person that's pregnant.

You have long since learned to check your pride at the door (stirrups anyone?).

You think of expenses in terms of IVF cycles (i.e. 3,750 Starbucks coffees = one IVF try).

You readily admit that you're a powder keg and nothing you say should be taken personally.

You'd like to throttle your parents for how easy they made it sound when you were 16 and they wanted to scare you out of having sex.

At one point or another you want to smack just about everyone you love, but then we cry over the failed fertility treatments of perfect strangers.

More than 100 rude responses jump to mind when people ask why you're not pregnant yet. And some of them make even you blush.

And here's mine:

...almost two years after you throw in the towel and decide you're "over" IF, the news of yet another birth can throw you into an unexpected tailspin.

(More on that later.)

Got a good "You know you're infertile when..."? Send it to me. Or join this Resolve board. There were many more funny, moving and heart-wrenching contributions. Many thanks to Laura143 for starting this thread...

Watch the book trailer for Secret Seductions.

The book trailer for Secret Seductions is online! Take a look.



Many thanks to Ben Hess of Bay Area Pictures for the great work!

How I became a sex writer.

On Saturday, I read a pared-down version of my essay "Following Anais, or How I Became a Sex Writer," as part of LitCrawl, which is the climax of San Francisco's LitQuake literary festival. I read in an alley. Really. With the obligatory drunk crazy person and everything. Evan Carp from the San Francisco Examiner posted an article, here.

Here's the video. We only had 7 minutes, so I'm reading pretty fast.

Thanks to Evan Karp of the San Francisco Examiner for this video!

Funny, you don't even notice the dry mouth that afflicted me halfway through. I was in a state of abject terror all day about the reading, but once I got on the BART train headed to SF, my anxiety vanished, and I had a great time. Thanks, Amanda Coggin, for inviting me!

The original essay appeared in HerStory: What I Learned in My Bathtub...and More True Stories on Life, Love, and Other Inconveniences.

And the second giveaway winner is...

...is Miah! She wins the bottle of FertilAid for Women from FairHaven Health from my August 12 giveaway. I selected her name totally randomly using--what else--a website called Random.org.

Sorry it's taken me so long to announce the winners. In addition to having to put my cat to sleep last month, work has been nuts, I've had health problems, and well, life has been a bit challenging. And my dear son, bless his heart, is going through what one friend suggested is a "transitional period." This seems to involve much defiance and screaming from a normally happy, sweet and loving child.

Transitional period: right. I call it an AFGO. Which stands for, Another Fucking Growth Opportunity. I continue to have a lot of those, especially this summer.

Watch this blog for the third and final FairHaven Health winner from the September 3 giveaway for a package of FertiliTea.

I'm in the October issue of Cosmo.

...And it's one issue of Cosmo you can share with your man, because it has Megan Fox on the cover, and from what I understand, guys think she's hot or something. In the article, she claims to be really insecure. Yeah, whatever.

But Megan's not important right now. (Really.) See that headline on the cover that says "Bad Girl Sex"? Yeah, that's the article I was interviewed for. It starts on page 126--"Get Naughty Tonight!" is the name of the actual article--and I'm quoted a couple of times, talking about why bondage and role playing are so exciting.

Oh, and you'll note that the article mentions my forthcoming book, What Women Really Want in Bed, which I wrote with my dear friend Dana Fredsti. I found out the other day that it's not coming out until April 2010. Which is a huge bummer, but not that far off. Gulp.

If I had one request for Cosmo, it's that they make their articles available online to subscribers. It's an idea whose time has come, don't you think?

Great post on living with infertility.

Jump over to SexIs for a great article on living with infertility. I wish there was a way to respond to the author to tell her how much I related to what she describes. Maybe I'll post to the forum.

I'll be on Sex Drive Radio tonight.

I'll be a call-in guest on Dr. Ava Cadell's Internet radio show, Sex Drive Radio, tonight at 7:10pm PST. Dr. Cadell is a renowned clinical sexologist. I'll be talking about boundaries in relationships (I think). I'll only be on for about 5 minutes, so don't be late!





Update: I was on for all of 1 minute...three other authors called in before me, so by the time I got on, even though I followed the producer's instructions, Dr. Cadell was ready to talk to someone with real issues. Little did she know that I could oblige her there...

Final giveaway: FertiliTea. And the first winner.

Here's my final Fairhaven Health giveaway: FertiliTea, an herbal tea "designed to support the entire reproductive system and help increase your chances of conceiving." It contains chasteberry (vitex), red raspberry leaf, green tea, ladies mantle, nettle leaf and peppermint leaf. Just leave a comment on this blog. I'll select a winner at random, and announce him or her at the end of the month.

Sounds so good I'm tempted to try it myself, even though I'm no longer TTC. Although in a cruel irony, my boobs hurt so much right before my period that I actual went and bought an EPT. I was filled with dread; my husband, not so much. But as soon as I took the test (literally as I was waiting for the result), my period started. It was like my body was saying, "Ha! Got you again!" Anyway. Back to FertiliTea.

Again, my standard disclaimer: I'm in no way endorsing or suggesting you use this product; the kind folks at Fairhaven sent me a free sample and asked that I give it away to one lucky reader. Consult with your doctor before taking this or any other supplement.

DVD Winner!
Back at the end of July, I offered up a copy of the Bend, Breath, and Conceive Fertility DVD. I'm happy to report that the winner of my random drawing is The Single Hussy! So if you're reading this, Single, send me your email and snail-mail addresses by going to my website, www.cwgentry.com, and sending me a note through the Contact form.

A trip I'd rather not have to make.

I got a call from the vet's office yesterday. Isabelle's ashes are ready to be picked up. It's funny--I had been wondering whether I should call. I told the vet I would pick them up today, thinking I'd swing by on the way home after picking up my son from preschool. But how do I explain to him the purpose of our errand? He thinks that she's in Heaven, where God is playing with her.

On Wednesday, I came across some of her medications in our downstairs medicine cabinet. I thought I'd given them all back. I suppose reminders of her will keep cropping up. I keep thinking I see her out of the corner of my eye.

Why I've been MIA.

Apologies to my readers for my recent absence. I especially apologize to those of you who entered one of my two giveaways and are waiting to find out if you won. Last week I had to put my cat Isabelle to sleep. She had been my pet and companion for the last 11 years. She saw me through good times and bad, divorces and bad relationships, love and marriage, infertility and pregnancy.

I'm going to write about her on this blog. I'm just not ready yet.

Giveaway: FertilAid from Fairhaven Health

Sorry for the two-week gap in blog postings. There's a good reason (actually, a few good reasons). But that's not important right now. What is important is tonight's giveaway, again brought to you by Fairhaven Health.

Tonight, I'm giving away a bottle of FertilAid for Women, a "fertility enhancing supplement designed for trying-to-conceive women." Just leave a comment on this blog. I'll select a winner at random, and announce him or her at the end of the month. Please note that I'm in no way endorsing or suggesting you use this product; the kind folks at Fairhaven sent me a free sample and asked that I give it away to one lucky reader. Consult with your doctor before taking this or any other supplement.

By the way, in case you're wondering why I didn't announce the winner of my July 27 giveaway, a copy of Bend, Breathe, and Conceive Fertility Yoga DVD, it's because no one entered! C'mon, folks! I'm not going to sell your email address or anything. I promise.

In the meantime, Fairhaven Health is offering a 10% discount to all readers of The Mind Reels. Simply enter the coupon code Sunshine09 at checkout to get 10% off everything on the Fairhaven Health website. It's valid through August 31, 2009.

Giveaway: Fairhaven Health Fertility Products

The good folks at Fairhaven Health sent me some free samples of their products, and I'd like to give them away over the next few days to a few lucky readers.

Tonight, I'm giving away a copy of the Bend, Breathe, and Conceive Fertility Yoga DVD.

To sign up to win this copy, just leave a comment on this post indicating your favorite way to reduce stress while dealing with infertility. I'll select a winner at random and announce them in an update to this post next Monday, August 3.

In the meantime, Fairhaven Health is offering a 10% discount to all readers of The Mind Reels. Simply enter the coupon code Sunshine09 at checkout to get 10% off everything on the Fairhaven Health website. It's valid through August 31, 2009.

J.Crew designers lose their minds.

OK, this is a totally off-topic post, and I love J.Crew and all (and would very much like them to send me free samples), but could you please tell me WHO WOULD EVER WEAR THIS OUTFIT?
I mean, look at it. Seriously. Shorts, frilly shirt, cardigan AND a blazer. With all the layers she's wearing, can this woman even move her arms? In what crazy climate can she possibly live? Is she going to school? PTA meeting? Work? Yes, I know the air conditioning tends to be set on high in office buildings, but who wears shorts to work? And yet her look says, "I'm so pretty, I dare you to make fun of my outfit." Blecch, I say. Blecch. One big overturned wine glass to this ensemble.

Sex News Roundup - Week of July 25, 2009

See? I told you that when I said I was going to start a "weekly" sex news roundup, "weekly" would translate into "hopefully every month" or, even more accurately, "whenever I feel like it." But today, I came across a bit of news that begged to be included. Nay, it begged for a post unto itself.

Sex Toys for Dogs
Yes, you read that right. There are now sex toys for dogs. "The kinky rubber DoggieLoveDoll is the latest pet product presented at a show in Sao Paulo, Brazil," says an article in The Sun. (The Brazilians translated my last book into Portuguese, so I'm inclined to like them.) The makers say they already have orders from several countries.

Best Foods for Getting in the Mood
Men's Health magazine claims that the U.S. is experiencing a "national libido crisis." The culprit? Obesity. (And here I thought it was antidepressants. Huh.) The foods the article recommends? Dark chocolate, sirloin steak, vanilla ice cream and blueberries. That's gotta be some smoothie.

Saucy Sausage Ads Condemned
Reuters reports that "A saucy radio advert for sausages which encouraged listeners to reveal 'where you like to stick yours' was criticized by Britain's advertising watchdog on Wednesday." You know, as someone who writes marketing copy for a living (when I'm not writing about sex), I would just like to ask the Advertising Standards Authority back the hell off. Do you know how hard it is to come up with catchy ad copy?

And although it doesn't really qualify as sex news, this week I found out that I'll be travelling to New York to see the play "A Steady Rain" on Broadway with studmuffins Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig, from the 13th row. Any suggestion on what I should wear?

I'm in Cosmo UK

Just got my copy of the August 2009 issue of Cosmo UK. I was interviewed for an article called "Cosmo's Big Orgasmic Quiz." You don't live in the UK? Check out your local Barnes & Noble or Borders. Some of them have pretty good international magazine sections.

Let me know how you...uh...score.

Sex News Roundup - Week of June 29, 2009

It's time to launch a new feature on The Mind Reels.

Every week*, I'll give you a roundup of notable--or notably wacky--news about all things sex-related. (I thought of starting a Worst Parent of the Week feature, but realized I'd get too depressed.) Now, normally I'd start a feature such as this on a Saturday, so I could use the "for the week ending July 4, 2009" designation, but today's news offered me two nuggets I couldn't pass up.

This Recession is So Bad that not Even Sex Sells.
That's the depressing headline on an article in this morning's San Jose Mercury News Business section, which reported on the annual Cybernet Expo conference in San Francisco. I'm not sure what was more interesting to me: the fact that times are tough in the "pay-per-view" sex industry, or that this conference didn't sound that much different from your average high-tech event, down to the breakout sessions on social media and the late-afternoon cocktails.

Man Demands Sex in Exchange for Lost Dog.
A convicted sex offender in the Los Angeles area demanded that a teenager give him cash or sex in exchange for the return of her lost dog Pineapple, a cocker-spaniel-toy poodle mix. And yet he's only been charged with "attempted extortion." Whaaaaa????

Got a good sex news tidbit for me? Send it on. Oh, and many thanks to Great White Snark, for giving me the idea for this feature.

* Note: "Every week" should be roughly translated as "hopefully every month" or "whenever I feel like it."

Podcast available: "Sex With Emily" show appearance on June 14

You can now download the podcast from my June 14 appearance on the "Sex With Emily" radio show on Alice 97.3 FM, talking about What Men Really Want in Bed. In fact, life is full of choices, because you've got a few options:

1. Visit Emily's website, www.sexwithemily.com.
Part 1
Part 2
A really nice next-day recap

2. Visit Emily's podcast page on the Radio Alice @97.3 website (www.radioalice.com). Just scroll down to the 06.14.2009 segments (Episode 92).

3. iTunes: Find the Sex with Emily podcast, and download Episode 92. I think my interview is broken into 2 segments.

I had a great time on the show. Emily's fun and cute and sweet, and best of all, she had read the book so carefully that she was almost more familiar with it than I am! We got some fun calls from listeners (thanks, Carrie!). I've never had an hour go by so fast. So check out "Sex With Emily," every Sunday night on 97.3 FM in San Francisco. I guarantee you won't be bored!

I'll be on the radio tonight!

I'm going to be a guest on the "Sex with Emily" show on FM 97.3 (Alice@97.3), along with Greg Behrendt, co-author of He's Just Not That Into You. The show runs from 9pm to midnight, but I'll be on at about 10:10-11:20pm.

Got a question you want me or Greg or Emily to answer? Send email to Emily at feedback@sexwithemily.com. Or you can call the show live at 800-400-FM97 (-3697).

For those of you who don't live in the San Francisco Bay Area, Emily posts podcasts after the show, so you won't miss out!

This Week at Preschool

I live for the almost-daily email reports that we get from my son's preschool teacher. Seriously, it's almost pathetic how excited I get when I see them in my Inbox, and how disappointed I am when she misses a day.

These updates are interesting only to me and a close circle of my relatives (as in, my husband, my mom and my mother-in-law), but I'm still going to post them here.

Tuesday 6/9/09
Our weather man Cameron had fun working with the connector blocks this morning. He made a sun with lots of hot rays coming out from it. He told me that today the sun is hiding in the clouds but that soon it will get too bright and it won't be able to hide there anymore. Then, after a long day of shining on people it will go down and the sky will get dark.

Wednesday 6/10/09
Cameron got out all the Legos and built a long train this morning. There was a lot of detail on his train. The cars were in a pattern: yellow, blue, yellow, blue. He had a seat for the conductor and he even included a smoke stack (because it was a steam engine).

Thursday 6/11/09
In the afternoon we did our Apple sensory investigation. It was so much fun and the children loved trying all the different types of apples….Cameron said his favorite part of the experiment was getting to taste all of the different apples. He told me that he thinks we should eat lots of different kinds of apples everyday for snack.

Friday 6/12/09
Cameron was really interested in puzzles this morning, he spent a lot of time at the table working on them all. He really liked the occupation puzzles and the emergency people puzzles. He would take one all apart and then put all the pieces back before moving on to the next one.

As the Noggin commercial puts it, wouldn't it be great if life were more like preschool?

Anatomy Lesson

Today's conversation between my son and his grandmother:

Cami: "Grandma, do you have a penis?"
Grandma: "No. I don't have a penis. I have something else. Do you know what it's called?"
Cami: "Yeah... umn..." (Thinks about it, then says) "You have a JayJay."
Grandma: "Yes, I have a JayJay."
Cami: "Yeah! And it's made in China."

I can't even comment on this one. I...just...can't.

AFA Event: Martinis and Manicures in SF

Attention all San Francisco Bay Area readers: The American Fertility Association is holding its popular free Martinis and Manicures event on Monday, June 9, at Nova Nail Spa in San Francisco. This your chance to get your questions answered about the reality of your biological clock, the effect of STDs on your fertility, environmental toxins and more fertility-related topics--all in a fun and friendly atmosphere. Here's the 411 from Vivian Rodriguez of the AFA:

What: Manicures & Martinis*, a 90-minute conversation and Q & A with Marcelle Cedars, M.D., UCSF Center for Reproductive Health

Where: Nova Nail Spa, 811 Mission Street, San Francisco, California 94107

When:Tuesday, June 9th, 6:00 PM – 7:30 PM

Why: Because wise choices now improve your chances of having a child later.

Who: Women in their 20s and 30s

Cost: Complimentary! A credit card is required to hold your reservation. A fee of $50 will be charged if you no-show.

* Also available: The “Fertilitini”, an organic, alcohol free cocktail!

To make a reservation please contact Vivian Rodriguez at 646-861-3226 or vivian@theafa.org. For more information, please visit www.theafa.org.

And here's some information about the Manicures and Martinis event in Denver.

I'd like to go to the event, although evening events in San Francisco are hard for me these days what with my job and such. But if I go, I'll post a report. And if you go, send me yours!

Reading at Bookshop West Portal

As part of the Word of Mouth Bay Area (WOM-BA) Mini-Tour last Thursday, my co-author and childhood pal Dana Fredsti and I read from Secret Seductions at Bookshop West Portal in San Francisco. Here are some pictures:

Co-authors Dana and Cynthia in action...

Dana and Cynthia post-reading, and looking forward to a glass of wine.

The theme for the evening was "Guilt, Pleasure, and Guilty Pleasures." The other readers were the very talented Jill Wolfson and Catherine Brady. Guess who handled the "Guilty Pleasures" (and comic relief) segment of the night's proceedings? Yeah. Yours truly. The highlight of the evening was when the 8-year-old boy wandered in while I was reading about having sex in a car. Oh, did I feel guilt then.

Afterwards, we headed back to Dana's pad and quaffed a few nice glasses of a Brutacao Zin while her sweet cats scurried around us. Just the reward for our travails.

Win a copy of Secret Seductions...

...although not on this blog (yet). My friend (and Jennifer Connelly lookalike) Rachel Sarah wrote an incredibly nice post about me on her blog, Single Mom Seeking. Thanks, Rachel!

Rachel's also giving away copies of my new book, Secret Seductions, along with two others, one of which I'd had when I was dating: Why He Didn't Call You Back: 1,000 Guys Reveal What They Really Thought About You After Your Date by Rachel Greenwald.

By the way, Rachel says in her blog that she wants to know my "secret." Well, I want to know hers! My admiration for single parents knows no bounds. I don't think you're going to be "seeking" for very long (Lucky Guy sounds like an absolute gem).

And I'm in Cosmo...again.

Cosmo and I are definitely becoming BFFs. I was interviewed for another cover feature that appears on page 110 of the May 2009 issue. It's called "What Guys Know About Sex That You Don't," and I'm quoted in Lesson 1: "You're Always Doable."

Check it out and let me know what you think.

I have only one request for my new BFF: Could you please archive your articles online, so that I can link to them?

Secret Seductions is out!

(Note to self: Must publish more than once a month. Bad blogger. Bad, bad blogger.)

So today is publication day for Secret Seductions: 62 Naughty Nights, Lusty Liaisons and Sexy Surprises. You can buy it at all the usual places: Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, etc. I celebrated by...going to work. Yes, the life of a sex writer is just that glamorous. (Take note, you tyro writers who think that publishing a book will completely change your life.)

At any rate, I was thrilled to see that Quiver Books sent out an email promoting the book. Let's see if I can cut-and-paste it:

Subject: Shhh! Secret Bedroom Trysts for Spring

Are you in the mood for something sweet? Adventurous? How about naughty? Secret Seductions contains 62 sealed seductions bound in glassine envelopes that let you peek at the enclosed sexy scenarios. Each sealed seduction includes a photograph that illustrates the seduction while the facing sealed page describes the fantasy to be acted out with a partner, gives sexual technique information, and lets you know what clothing or props are required to set the scene. Each chapter is based on your sexual mood: naughty, nice, raunchy, racy, tender, torrid, sensual, sweet, and much more! It even shares the best season and time of day to act out the fantasy. Let Secret Seductions capture your lust-incited passion. Trash the routine, and be risqué.

Click twice below for some secrets from the book!

#13 #53 #27

Mood: Naughty Mood: Languorous Mood: Relaxing

Secret Seductions is available at bookstores nationwide and online at Amazon.com, BarnesAndNoble.com, and QuiverBooks.com

I hope you'll check it out--and that you enjoy it as much as Roxanne and I enjoyed writing it. If you like it, please think about posting a nice review on Amazon.com or BarnesAndNoble.com (or both)!

Classroom Doctor Visit

My son's preschool lesson plan for the week is "Healthy Bodies." Today they talked about their health with their "classroom doctors." Here's my son's health check-up sheet:

In case you're wondering, my son is 3 1/2, not 10 or 100, although sometimes he does seem wise beyond his years. He does weigh a lot (hello, 95th percentile), especially when I have to carry him upstairs to bed. And he does in fact have all 10 fingers and 10 toes. OK, maybe accuracy isn't his strong suit at the moment, he is 3/12, for god's sake.

What's the best story your preschooler's made up?

My new book, Secret Seductions, is out! (Almost.)

My new book, Secret Seductions: 62 Naughty Nights, Lusty Liaisons and Sexy Surprises, is out! Well, it's almost out. You can pre-order it from Amazon. It'll be officially out on April 1.

Here's the description, from Amazon:
"This book contains sealed seductions bound in glassine envelopes that let readers peek at the enclosed sexy scenarios. Each sealed seduction includes a photograph that illustrates the seduction while the facing sealed page will describe the fantasy to be acted out with a partner, give sexual technique information, and let readers know what clothing or props are required to set the scene. Each chapter will be based on the mood of the sex the reader is looking for—naughty, nice, raunchy, racy, tender, torrid, sensual or sweet—with sealed seduction being marked with the mood on the outside."

It was fun to write, and I hope you'll find it fun to read. (I'm really impressed at the design from my publisher, Quiver Books. It's beautiful and fancy! Wow!)

I'm in Cosmo again

Well, I finished What Women Really Want in Bed. And I'm gradually emerging from seclusion. First up, a gratuitous bit of self-promotion to let you know that I was interviewed for an article that appears in the March 2009 issue of Cosmopolitan. The article is called "His Biggest Sex Secrets." Take a look while you're standing in line at the grocery store. Let me know what you think.

Guilt.

This is not going to be a funny post. I'm just warning you.

My book deadline is bearing down on me, while at the same time, my day job is beyond crazy.

I'm kind of screwed. At night, I try to write for at least an hour a night, but then I feel guilty because I'm not doing "work" work. But when I do work, I feel guilty for not writing.

On top of that, I feel like I'm neglecting my husband and son because I'm so tightly wound up by stress. (Thanks to the joys of email and the Blackberry, I was almost in tears by 8:30a.m. this morning.) I've started having sharp stomach pains occasionally after I eat.

Please don't tell me to exercise, meditate or do yoga. I miss doing all those things. But there's not a spare moment in the day. That I could give up without feeling guilty, that is.

How do other writers handle it, this juggling act, this guilt?

A conversation I never thought I'd have (or share).

"Cami, do you want to come here and go potty before your nap?"
"No thank you!"
"I'm going potty, and I'm going poo-poo, too!"
"Good job, mommy!"

Porn industry asks feds for money.

It was inevitable.

In light of the economic meltdown, the porn industry (well, as represented by Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis) is seeking a federal bailout.

Flynt said in a statement: "People are too depressed to be sexually active. This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex."

You know, he has a point. This man might be a real patriot.

Really, though, if the porn industry can get government help, can erotica writers and sex book authors be far behind? The value of my 401K has halved, my husband has been out of work for months, and we have a college education to pay for. Paul Greenberg made a compelling argument in the New York Times recently for writers getting a bailout.

Look at it this way. If the porn industry needs a bailout, and writers need a bailout, then sex writers really need a bailout. I'm just saying.