Friday, July 25, 2008

Coco de Mer's new Web site worth a look.

Normally I wouldn't write about a company's new Web site--I mean, in general, snore--but in this case, I'm making an exception because the site's so cool.

Anyway, erotic toys and lingerie purveyor Coco de Mer has just revamped its site, It's worth checking out, not the least because it weaves together two words I really like: "erotic" and "luxury."

I love the photography, and the site seems easier to navigate. Good job, guys and gals.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

BlogHer '08: Fivestar interviews me at the Sex & Relationships Birds of a Feather Meet-Up.

One of the sessions I enjoyed most at BlogHer '08 was the Sex & Relationships Birds of a Feather Meet-Up on Friday. (Details later, in a subsequent blog post. Yeah, I'm a tease. Sorry.)

Afterwards, video artist Fivestar interviewed me for a video, "The Quick and Dirty BlogHer '08 Sex Video," for her blog, iamFivestar. We talked about how I got started writing about sex (accidentally), how the Internet has changed sex (more choices for women), and a bunch of other stuff.

Fivestar's friendliness and warmth made it a really fun interview. I'd talk to her about sex any time!

The unfairness doctrine, revisited.

Back in March, I wrote about "The unfairness doctrine." As in, "It's just not fair that [insert name of unfit parent here] gets to have children, and I don't." Of course, we infertile people don't like to admit that we even have this thought, but we do.

The unfairness doctrine raised its ugly head for me again when I found out recently that a family friend is pregnant with her second child. She's a wonderful person and a great mom, so normally, this would be cause for celebration. And I am happy for her. Really. But here's the thing: She got pregnant during a visit from her estranged husband, who lives on the other side of the country.

So my first thought when I heard this news was: It's just not fair. I mean, on our third and last IVF, which was medicated and timed to the minute, we transferred four embryos and a goddamned blastocyst, and I still didn't get pregnant. And I'm married to a guy who's one of the best dads I've ever seen. If anyone "deserves" another baby, it's him.

But then I noticed something else. This time, the unfairness doctrine only lasted for a second. (OK, maybe 5 seconds.) It resolved quickly into an internal shrug of the shoulders and the thought, Oh well, who can explain how the Universe works? I didn't feel that blow to the heart that I used to feel when hearing or reading about someone else's pregnancy. Could it be that I've actually come to terms with my infertility, and with being the parent of a singleton?

A lot of doors have opened for me since we stopped trying to get pregnant. I finished a book, signed a contract for the next one, and had a short story (which the publisher wants me to turn into a novel) accepted to a publication. In my "other" life, I also got a great new job that I'll start Monday. Not everything's perfect (witness my thigh and my sex life), but it's pretty good.

I will always wonder what our second child would have been like. And it's hard not to be aware of one's cycle, or worry about what you eat and drink. But in some ways, I'm moving on.

I was also going to talk in this post about one of the great panels I attended at BlogHer '08: called "When the Road to Motherhood is Anything But Smooth: Infertility, Adoption and Miscarriage Bloggers." But this post is getting hang on to your horses. I'll talk about it, and the fabulous Sex and Relationships meet-up I sat in on, in my next posts.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Just back from BlogHer '08, and now have blogger's block.

So I just finished two days at BlogHer '08. It was wonderful and amazing and I feel like I should blog about it at length.

But I can't.

I have total blogger's block. I'm on complete blogging overload. I met so many great bloggers and heard so many great posts read at the BlogHer Community Keynote and sat in on so many great panels that I'm convinced right at this moment that anything I wrote would SUCK.

I even left the closing cocktail party at Macy's early, after hanging out with a very nice woman named Anna from Austin who blogs about cookies and gets like 4,000 hits a day while I get maybe 2, because I was so overwhelmed and yes, a little burnt out on talking about blogging. (Anna, I'm terribly embarrassed to admit that, because I have the memory of a goldfish, I've already forgotten the name of your blog but will link to it if/when you email me.)

And I wanted to see my husband and son.

So I will write a better post about BlogHer. Just not tonight.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

I'm published in Brazil.

Imagine my surprise yesterday to get a package from my publisher containing two copies of the Brazilian co-edition of What Men Really Want in Bed. Or, in Portuguese, O Que os Homens Realmente Querem na Cama.

This is probably ho-hum news to authors used to being translated into multiple languages, but it's a first for me. I must say that I love the cover, which is a bit more lurid (in a good way) than its American counterpart.

Now, if only I actually spoke Portuguese, maybe I could translate some of the blog posts about the book. But despite my lack of language skills, I'll gladly volunteer to do a book tour in Brazil. Anyone? Anyone?

In related news, I'm about to start the sequel to What Men Really Want in Bed, focusing--you guessed it--on what women really want in bed. If you're a woman and would like to participate in the online survey, please send me your email address using the contact page on my Web site.