Listen to Sex with Emily!

No, I don't mean you have to listen to Emily actually having sex, although, since she's on a "manatorium," that might not be possible anyway.

Instead, download and listen to the "Sex with Emily" podcast, episode 138, to hear me talk about my new book, What Women Really Want in Bed, and join Emily in answering some listener email. It was a blast!

Emily interviewed me about the book, how women feel about oral sex, orgasms, porn and more.

(Full disclosure: This post also appears on What Women Really Want in Bed, in a slightly different format.)

What Women Really Want in Bed - Book launch today!

The day we've been waiting for has FINALLY arrived. Today's the day that men everywhere will stop wondering "What does my woman really want in bed?" (Well, we hope today's the day, anyway). We're happy to announce the official launch of the book What Women Really Want in Bed: The Surprising Secrets Women Wish Men Knew About Sex, which I wrote with co-author and childhood friend Dana Fredsti.

You can buy your copy online now through our site. Or buy it for your man and stop hoping he will read your mind or ask for directions in bed--he won't, without this book! That's our story and we're sticking to it.

We've launched a Twitter page and hope you'll follow our many tweets from the book at http://www.twitter.com/womenwantinbed -- please follow us and say hi!

We also have a Facebook Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/What-Women-Really-Want-In-Bed-The-Surprising-Secrets-Women-Wish-Men-Knew/359139043886
Please become a fan and share us with your friends!

Thanks to everyone how participated in the survey for this book and shared their candid responses with us. We couldn't have written it without you. Thanks also for your support of the book and for passing the word along to your girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands, lovers and fans!

FSH: When numbers don't matter.

Scanning the latest email newsletter from the American Fertility Association, I came across this article. In it, the author discovers--through an answering machine message left by her doctor--that at 35, she has an FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) level of 14.5. For those of you not up on your hormones, this is high. And the author is devastated.

I was right there with her, but for a different reason. Back in the day, during my infertility "journey," I got similar calls from my doctor. But in my case, the news was "good": my FSH, at 41, hovered around 5. It still took us 11 cycles of IUIs to conceive our son. A few years later, trying to conceive #2, the news was similar: Again, my FSH was around 5-6, sometimes as low as 4. The IVF doctor shook his head. "You have the biological makeup of a 35-year-old." He had never seen anything like it. And yet, it didn't make a difference. Nine IUI cycles, 3 rounds of IVF and 2 more IUI cycles (one resulting in a miscarriage) later, I still hadn't conceived. It didn't matter what my numbers were. There was to be no sibling for my son.

So what's the point? The point is that we really have no control over whether we're able to conceive or not. It's a total crap shoot. People we consider to be unfit parents pump out babies, while the dearest, most caring people we know can't conceive their own biological children. It's not fair. There's no explaining it.

Last week during my small group bible study, we were talking about the movie "V for Vendetta" and spiritual crucibles, about radical turning points that changed the course of our lives. I don't have a "road to Damascus" moment, but infertility was my crucible, and the realization that there are many, many things over which I have no control--a lesson I forget over and over again--was a turning point for me.

I live in an area where people believe without a shadow of a doubt that they can succeed if they're smart enough and they work hard enough. It's a lie. You can have "everything" going for you, including a low FSH and "beautiful" ovaries (see an earlier blog post). And you can still "fail," if the rubric is the number of children to whom you can give birth. So the only way to keep your sanity is to let go. Most of the time, I can.

Mind-Blowing Orgasms Every Day: Now available in German!

Imagine my surprise when I opened up a package from my publisher the other day and discovered a copy of the German translation of Mind-Blowing Orgasms Every Day: 365 Wild and Wicked Ways to Revitalize Your Sex Life.

Which, in German, is Höhepunkte: 365 Ideen für unschlagbar guten Sex. Of course it is.

I must say I adore the picture on the cover, but not as much as I adore the friend who asked if I had posed for it. (Answer: No, because a) even if I did wear heels that high, I would probably trip on them rather than get them caught in my thong; and b) I've never had a body like that, even at my thinnest.) But it's the thought that counts.