Ma'am, your reservation in Hell is confirmed.

Can you use OpenTable.com to reserve spots in Hell? If so, there's a table for one saved for Maya-Anne Mays.

As reported in a jaw-dropping article in today's San Francisco Chronicle, in 2004 Mays bilked couples out of thousands of dollars by claiming that she was pregnant and going to let them adopt her child. But there was no baby: just a whopper of a lie about a stillborn girl. Mays was convicted in 2004 of three counts of grand theft, and served three years in prison.

Out on parole, she was arrested this week for doing the same thing again to couples in North Carolina. The lies she told? Well, the mind reels.

It takes a special kind of evil to cheat people who are trying desperately to build a family. One of her victims, who was defrauded out of almost $12,000, said:

"These are people that have probably tried every way to build a family. For lots of people, this is a last-ditch effort. They want to do anything to have a child, so they're especially vulnerable."

There are worse crimes, of course. I've been avoiding writing about some of the horrific cases of child abuse in the news recently not only because they kill me inside but also plunge me (and a lot of others suffering from infertility) into the "Why do some people get to have kids and I don't?" game.

It's quite likely that Mays is mentally ill. I don't really care. I just hope that she gets put away this time for a long, long while. And I pray that if I go the adoption route, I never meet anyone like her.

"Mad Men" is the best show on TV today. Period.

I know I'm supposed to be writing about movies in this blog, but some television shows outshine anything on the big screen today. "Mad Men" is one of those shows. If you're missing it, you're missing out.

Think the characters drink and smoke a lot? You didn't grow up in the 1960s. You didn't grow up with my dad.

I've got the season finale on TiVo, waiting for me. Don't tell me what happens.

(Photo courtesy of Mad Men.)

In other news: I hate Milla Jovovich.

Actress* Milla Jovovich ("Resident Evil") was "oblivious" to her pregnancy until about six and a half weeks, according to this item in the gossip column of San Francisco Chronicle.

"It was almost six and a half weeks before I put two and two together, which was funny because my belly was getting big. I had no idea. It looked in the mirror like I'd drunk too many beers."

To those of us mired in the infertility trenches, this statement is as incomprehensible as if she had just spoken it in Ubuntu. We parse and note every twinge, every flutter and variation of our recalcitrant bodies, especially if it's during the dreaded "two-week wait" (or 2WW, if you're on an Internet board). We worry about every sip of caffeine. We stress if we even look at a glass of wine.

The only happy part of this story is that Jovovich has gained about 70 pounds during her pregnancy, the result of breakfasts that consisted of three bagels with butter, peanut butter and jelly, and lunches of Krispy Kreme donuts.

I don't really have a heart the size of a walnut. I don't really hate Jovovich. I'm sure that she's a very nice woman. And I really hate Hollywood's focus on pregnancy weight gain and loss.

But when she goes on and on about how she didn't even realize she was pregnant, well, it's like a kick in the teeth. And when she tells US Weekly, "Being pregnant, I really feel like a woman," well, you might imagine how we who can't get pregnant feel.

* Note: I use this term loosely.

This pretty much describes my mood.

"Michael Clayton" opens today. Huzzah!

The week is not lost. George Clooney's new move, "Michael Clayton," opens today.

Manohla Dargis gave it a glowing review in The New York Times. So did David Denby in The New Yorker. Like I need someone else to tell me to go see a George Clooney movie.

In other news about all things Clooney, Brad Pitt suggested that George should run for president.

Ironically.

October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

So.

The only thing worse than not being able to get pregnant is to find out you're pregnant, and then, 4 days later, find out you won't be for much longer.